Zexion has the Sniffles!
by ilovefetamorethanyou
Summary: Oh no! Zexion can't stop sneezing! What could be the cause?


ZEXION HAS THE SNIFFLES!

Oh no!

A/N: Greetings, all! Well, the summer's here, and I should have much more time (in between summer classes) to create FANFICTION! YEAH!

Alrighty, this is dedicated to my sister _ilovefetacheese_, who loves torturing Zexion.

Enjoy! Please Read and Review!

For the longest time, nobody could figure out why Zexion was sneezing constantly.

"Ah-choo!" he would cry in the middle of a meeting, and Axel would roll his eyes and pass Zexion a tissue.

"Ah-choo!" was heard from the darkest depths of the library, and Demyx would run in to save Zexion from the massive pile of books that avalanched onto him. A few times he even fell off the ladder in an attempt to reach a particularly rare manuscript, shelved at the top of the highest bookcases. Demyx panicked the first time he walked in to find Zexion unconscious, his fall cushioned by a pile of tissues, but nowadays it was a common sight.

A shout of "Ah-choo!" was heard late, in the middle of the night, when Zexion wandered downstairs for a midnight snack. "Ah-choo!" again was cried, followed by a large THUMP as Zexion hit his head on the top of the refrigerator.

Then, surprisingly, a lull came. Zexion stopped sneezing for a full 36 hours, enough time to play poker with Luxord without fear of sneezing the cards out of his hands.

Alas, as suddenly as Zexion's sneezing stopped, well, it started again.

"Ew!" Larxene cried daintily when Zexion sneezed during dinner, "Get your germs away from my pineapple soufflé!" Zexion shot her a nasty, chilling glare and she ceased from talking further.

"I can't help it," Zexion growled, "The sneezes just won't stop."

Days passed, and still, "Ah-choo!" rang throughout the castle.

"Zexion, today's mission is – "

"Ah-choo!" Saix frowned upon interruption by Zexion's sneeze.

"As I was say – "

"Ah-choo!"

"You will team up with – "

"Ah-choo!"

"Tissue?" Axel stepped in quickly.

"Thanks."

"Marluxia and – "

"Ah-choo!"

"Tissue?"

"Thanks."

"Eliminate the giant heartless in – "

"Ah-choo!"

"Tissue?"

"Thanks."

"Twilight Town."

"Ah-choo!"

"Tissue?"

"IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?" Saix growled most fearsomely, tiring of the interruptions.

"Ah –ah –ah –oh, lost it. Yes sir," Zexion turned to go, "Ah-choo!"

"Awww, does Zexion have the snifffleeeesss?" Marluxia crooned in a most disturbing manner as they exited the portal to darkness, arriving promptly in Twilight Town.

Zexion just glared at him, offering no response. The grey-haired boy tensed, and looked around, expecting heartless to appear and confront them. Zexion lifted his nose to the air and sniffed.

"Do you smell any darkness?" Marluxia asked, knowing that Zexion had the unusual gift of being able to detect the presence of heartless through his sense of smell.

"…" Zexion, remaining silent, frowned and looked around apprehensively

"What's wrong?" Marluxia inquired with a flick of his hair, not quite caring what was wrong with his comrade.

"…My nose is stuffed," Zexion finally admitted, and pulled a tissue out of his robe.

Maluxia looked at him incredulously, and then chuckled "Got a stuffy, nose, Zexion? Need a tissue?"

"What – achoo! – ever, Marluxia. Let's just finish the mission."

"Of course, sniffly, of course! Ha! Sniffly! Haaaaaaaaaaa!" Marluxia walked away, laughing, a sullen and moody Zexion following closely behind, sneezing every two minutes.

"That was the worst mission of my – achoo! – life," Zexion growled around the thermometer in his mouth miserably, seated in a plush chair in front of the fireplace, his feet up and a cold compress on his head.

"Actually, I think the worst mission – " Axel began tauntingly, when Zexion cut him off.

"One more word – achoo! – Axel, and I'm going to – achoo!"

"You're going to achoo! me, Zexion? Oh, I'm soooo scared," Axel teased, leaning against the armrest of the couch he was sitting on.

"Leave him alone, Axel, you'd be miserable in his situation too," Demyx chided, and sighed, and handed Zexion a steaming bowl of soup. "Here, Zexion, this should make you feel better. Chicken noodle."

"Aww, wittle Zexion doesn't feel so good? He needs some chicken noodle soup?" Axel continued his childish mocking, doubling over in laughter when he was done.

Zexion just glared and took the bowl, beginning to eat ravenously.

"You know, Zexion," Demyx began, falling onto the couch next to Axel, "You've stopped sneezing since I gave you that soup."

"Hmm?" Zexion looked up and quirked an eyebrow. "You are correct. I no longer have even the slightest itch to sneeze. Demyx, what kind of miracle soup is this?"

"It's just ordinary chicken noodle soup…" Demyx frowned, and began thinking. "Zexion, did you say that today is the worst you've ever sneezed?" Demyx got up and pulled the thermometer out of Zexion's mouth. "You don't have a fever. Maybe it's something else?"

"Like what?" Zexion spat, angered.

"Oh Sniffly, here's your half of the reward for completing today's mission," Marluxia said cooly, tossing Zexion a pouch, and flipping his hair.

"Ugh, Marluxia," Axel gagged, "You smell… like flowers… so strong! Get out!"

Axel stood up, holding his nose, and forced Marluxia out the door. "Oh God." He waved a hand in front of his face, "It stinks."

"I think I smells nice," Demyx said, and shrugged. "What about you, Zexion?" Demyx turned towards the ill boy and froze.

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo! ACHOO!" Zexion was sneezing so hard he couldn't speak.

Demyx's eyes widened and he looked at the door. Something clicked in his head. "Zexion… do you have… allergies?"

Zemyx stopped sneezing and snapped his head up, staring at Demyx in shock and putting his tissue down. "…Allergies?"

The room was silent… until Axel burst into laughter. "HAAAAAAAAAA! Zexion's allergic to MARLUXIA!"

" …Not funny…" Zexion muttered darkly, blowing his nose (which was quite red) forcefully. "I'm calling a meeting."

"Zexion… you are telling me… you are allergic to _Marluxia_?" Xemnas asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes sir… it makes sense. The only time I stop – achoo! – sneezing is when Marluxia is out on a mission. Whenever I am within 3 meters of his presence, I sneeze uncontrollably, like during yesterday's mission."

"What do you want me to do about this, Number VI? You and XI are both valuable members of the organization," Xemnas inquired.

"I request that XI not be allowed within ten meters of my person, and that – achoo! – we never be paired in a mission. If absolutely necessary that we work together, he must clear himself of all pollen and flower odors via showering using unscented shampoo, conditioner – achoo! – and soap. In addition, he must keep his Organization cloak on at all times and use odor elimination spray. I should be fine again once spring passes and it is – achoo! –fall again." Zexion stated.

"That sounds reasonable." Xemnas nodded. "Alright. I hereby enact Organization XIII Law Number 935 – Marluxia Shall Not Smell!"


End file.
